I AM DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. EW I SUCK LOL. BUT OMG. IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME IF YOU GUISE WATCHED THIS. Laik. These people are my family. And we just love each other so much. I love them so much. They are so EFFING supportive… I was crying a waterfall right before I went on stage LOL. It wouldn’t stop. omg. And whenever someone told me stuff to help me stop crying, it just made me cry harder LOL. I’M SO TOUCHED. SORRY WORD VOMIT. I’M JUST SO PROUD. SO PROUD OF MY FAMILY. I feel so effing thankful that this family exists in my life. I don’t know who I’d be today without them. I really really mean that. I’m so honored to dance along side these people who I’ve admired since the previous Defining Rhythm, which was the first time I saw Project D perform. And to be recognized by them and to have a piece in this set… AHHH I’M JUST SO HUMBLED, MAN. I love my family.
So yesterday, I woke up at 5am because Team Eric had to leave for StonyBrook to take Chris Martin, Bam Martin And Derek’s classes. To be honest, I was pretty nervous. I never really danced in front of 2 of my many dance idols. So I was awake the whole car ride and I didn’t eat the whole day. I never planned on taking the workshops because I never had money and I always felt I’d fuck up during classes. So I told Eric I’d sit out and just watch. But of course, he said no and paid for me. Little did I know that that small act of kindness made a huge impact on me. My friend was like, Omg you at a class? that’s the first LOL. But yeah, it was the first workshop I’ve taken in years. YEARS. You have no idea how frightened I was. But when the classes started, I started to ease into the flow and just dance. Derek’s piece was very different and groovy. I liked his style and that class was very fun. Bam’s class omg. I got a headache cause I tries so hard, but I’m really just in love with his style. I’ve always wanted to learn a piece from him. (checked off my bucketlist AHA) But Chris Martin. This guy. I was totally knocked off my feet because of this piece. I’ve never really watched any of his videos. But the things that he hit, the movements that he detailed, omg i like jizzed (and no not because he’s freakin hot) The feeling I got from learning this piece was absolutely inspiring to me. As we did groups, I just let all my feels go and performed that shiet. Then it was time for him to select the individuals he thought performed best. I kept pushing Marie in. I was laughing and smiling, but then Chris came towards me and tapped my head. Me? Of all people? What an honor that was omg. Everyone on the fambam was screaming like crazy. I then performed it with the 4 other girls who were chosen (of course they pushed me in the middle -.-) But after performing it, everyone went crazy. I had the biggest smile in the world. The one chance I get to take a workshop from my idols, and he chose me. The huge chunk of insecurity that surrounded my dancer heart suddenly started melting. The one picture I got from yesterday was, I love dancing. I love it to the bone. I may get discouraged A LOT, but I know that I’m growing. Ate Marie and others expect so much from me. I gotta just do what I love and love what I do. Yesterday inspired me so much as a dancer as well as a person. I finally socially integrated into the dance community. I may not know their names still, but I talked to a lot of dancers there. No words can describe my love for yesterday, I have no regrets. I honestly just want to thank Eric for giving me a chance to fully grasp this opportunity. Without him, I would have never experienced this turnaround. He’s the Breh and the Bum. I thank him so much. (I gotta pay him back somehow LOL)
That awesome moment when a member of a dance team does the ultimate self sacrifice for another dancer… and pays for their class fee so that said dancer can take class, and end up making select in front of the dance community.